All's Well That Ends in Pants
by KingxLeon21
Summary: They argue and they fight. They fight and they argue. When they can't do it anymore what will happen? Will they lose themselves, their minds, their pants?
1. Chapter 1

Hello to all, KL21 here, with a lil something for u guys. Another fic from Mind of Seddie

This one was inspired by the movie What Happens in Vegas, when the judge sentences the two main characters to marriage. So that is the main inspiration, along with a secondary inspiration from a convo I had with some friends involving pants.

There you have the ingredients of this story, I now give you the product. Please, read enjoy and review. Thank you.

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All's Well that Ends in Pants

"That's it!" Carly had reached an unknown level of fury, "I have had it with all of the bickering, and the arguing, and the fighting!" Sam and Freddie stand there, mouths agape, as their friend goes on a tirade that neither of them had ever seen before. "You never agree… ON ANYTHING!! You fight… ABOUT EVERYTHING!! And I'm TIRED OF IT!!"

Sam opens her mouth to say something, "SHUT UP!!" The sheer shock of the situation causes Sam to close her mouth. Carly takes a deep breath, leaving everyone hoping that her fury had all been spent. "Now… I don't really care, anymore, if you guys become the best of friends. I don't care if you _magically_ realize that you have feelings for each other and fall in love and live happily ever after, and then die happily in each other's arms at a ripe old age; leaving behind nothing but babies and memories." Sam and Freddie share a look of confusion but neither of the two dare to utter a single word. "But hear me when I say this!" Carly gives them a look that can freeze a lion in his tracks, "You guys are going to go without fighting for _six… months_!"

Freddie and Sam, in their moment of shock, forgot about the enraged Carly, "SIX MONTHS!?!" Both scream.

"SIX MONTHS!!" they were quickly reminded.

"I can't go six months!" Sam gestures towards Freddie, "Look at him! He makes it so easy!" Sam looks back over to Carly, "I don't know how you manage to do it!" This slight did not slip past Freddie.

He took the bait once again, "That's because Carly is sweet and kind, not counting this moment… whereas you, you blonde devil, have a heart that is filled with hatred and evil."

"You know what, Benson?" Carly's eyes stretch with disbelief, "Why don't you go across the hall and play with your, My Little Pony, Dolls!" Where they really about to do this?

Start another argument? Right in front of her? "Why don't you go rob a convenience store, you degenerate…" They really _are_ about to fight. Carly can't believe it.

"ENOOOOOUUUGH!!!!" Carly had, once again, had it. They could see the window in the studio door shake. "NOW, you guys _are_ going to go these next six months without fighting, or else: Sam, I'll make sure that this apartment… no, this whole apartment _building_ never sees another ham… _ever_…" Sam felt actual fear for the first time in her entire life, "… and Freddie…" He had been staring at Sam as she slowly progressed through a mental breakdown at the prospect of a ham-less existence. He slowly looks at his friend, "… if you provoke her, I'll dump garbage all over you and tell your mother that you sneak out of the house at 2:00 in the morning to visit hobos at the city dump." Freddie's eyes almost popped out of his head.

"What!?! No!!" Freddie starts to panic at the prospect of how his mother would react, "I'll be on lockdown until I leave for college; I'll be forced to take showers and tick baths and delousing at least two times every other hour; She'll put a 41-digit code on my door at night." The gravity of the situation begins to press on Freddie as he starts to hyperventilate.

Carly was unmoved, "It starts in ten minutes!" She walks over to the studio door, "Get your shots in now!" She storms out of the studio, leaving Sam and Freddie to their fate, and introducing the world to its own fate, as it had never seen a Carly Shay as furious as she is now.

Sam and Freddie stand in the studio, unable to feel any sympathy for the world. For its newest tormentor had just stolen their most convenient means of communication.

"What… just…" Sam was at a loss for words.

"I… don't know." Freddie was unable to offer any assistance.

Sam quickly recovers, "Well, Fred-nerd…" she shrugs and puts on the best look of nonchalance that she can muster under the circumstances, "I can do anything for six months: I can go without jerky for six months, I can stay on the run from the cops for six months, I can… not wear pants for six months…"

"Sam, you can't justify being able to _do_ something by saying that you can, _not_ do something." Freddie decides that, since it will be six months before he can feel the rush of an argument again, he will, in fact, get his shots in.

"Whatever, nub…" He figured that Sam must've reached the same conclusion, "The point is, I can go six months without insulting you… easy." She wears a look of confidence. One would think that this wasn't a big deal at all.

On the inside, however, she was, indeed, terrified. How could she go six months without torturing Freddie… without even a tiny jib? Would she have to avoid being around Freddie altogether? No, she can't do that. They have to do iCarly. _Maybe we could meet up in secret and argue for old time's sake. No, Freddie would never go for that. He is too afraid of his mother and letting down Carly. Maybe I could find someone else to argue with. That would certainly be easier… but would it work? Who will I find to take his place? Shane's too cute, Jonah's probably still an idiot, Reuben is _definitely_ still an idiot, Pete's not enough of a nub, and Gibby's too… Gibby. Why is this school's male pool so shallow!?! _The pressure starts to weigh on Sam. Could she really do it? Could she really go six months without cracking? She has to. Not for her sake, but for ham's sake and the sake of all in the apartment building that love ham. _Why did she have to bring the ham into this? Ham has never done anything to hurt anybody… and now it could be taken down in the crossfire._ _Why isn't Freddie freakin' out about this?_

Freddie on the other hand could only focus on one part of Sam's declaration. _Who can go six months without pants?_ "Fred-nerd… Fred-wuss… Fred-drip…" Sam's, already thin, patience evaporates rather quickly, "HEY, MORON!!" Freddie stirs out of his reverie

"Huh?"

"Get outta your pervy imagination… dipstick…" she had gone from imaginative nicknames which involved his name to normal nicknames involving his self-esteem, "we gotta real problem here!" Freddie had regained enough mental capacity to smirk.

"I thought you could do anything for six months." Sam stomps over to Freddie and punches him in the shoulder.

He grabs his shoulder in pain, "This is serious, idiot!!" Sam sounded upset but Freddie could tell that she was freaking out.

Freddie regained enough mental capacity to, now, form his own sentences, "Sam, chill out. It's only six months…" his calm doesn't portray his true feelings, "… I'm sure they will fly by." He walks over to Sam and places his hands on her shoulders. He feels that he should try to stabilize his… his… he wasn't quite sure what she was to him but he still feels that he should try to help calm her down. "Take a few deep breaths." She closes her eyes. He feels her shoulders rise and fall. "We'll be at each other's throats again in no time." He feels her shoulders rise and fall once more, a lot less tense then a few minutes ago. She hears him ask, "All better now?" She opens her eyes and they stare into each other's eyes; each trying to read the emotions that lay hidden behind them.

The silence grows really heavy, really quickly and Sam figures that she never really liked reading anyway. Sam violently shrugs off Freddie's hands, in the form of her pushing him and making him trip over the bean bags, "Whatever, dishrag…" She can't help it… this is what feels most comfortable to her.

"Hey, demon! I was only trying to help!"

"You wanna help, Fred-turd?" All of this staring into each other's eyes is unfamiliar, "Stop bein such a nub!" right now, familiarity is her friend.

"How old are you? FIVE!?!"

"Six, nub, actually, I'm six!" this feels right to her.

"Real mature, Sam!"

"Well, I'm six, Fred-worm. What do you expect?" She suspects that he feels the same.

"I expect six year olds not to mess with people who are bigger than they are!" His smirk confirms her suspicions.

"Well then, Benson… I guess I'm a little bit older than six." There is, still, only one thing that could make this feel right… feel… perfect. She closes the distance between them and grabs him by the collar. Freddie braces himself for whatever he is about to receive from the blonde. Since it will be six months, he is sure that it will be something big, something that could sustain her over the course of six months. He steals a quick glance into her eyes once more and quickly shuts them as he sees her start to move… and then…

"STARTING NOW!!" The studio door slams shut, they were unaware that it had been open. Carly had re-entered the studio to inform the bickering duo of that their punishment had begun and quickly exited; failing, in her fury, to notice the close proximity of her two friends.

Their proximity was not lost on her two friends; however, as Sam releases Freddie's collar, "Talk to you in six months, Freddie." With those words, she left him standing alone in the studio. Sure, they would talk within those six months, but… it wouldn't be real… and they both knew that.

However, neither of them would realize that all of Sam's thoughts would be on Freddie.

Likewise, Sam would not realize that the only thing Freddie was thinking about was Sam… not wearing pants.

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Well, there you have it. I would like to take a moment to acknowledge all of u who read and review my stories on a regular basis. Pigwiz, Tech-man, JamesTheGreater, axel100. Anybody I missed, I deeply apologize. I appreciate all of my reviews and everyone who takes the time to write them.

No other news and I don't feel like pluggin any of my other fics so, fictioneers and fictionistas, this is where we part ways… for now.  
Until Next time,  
Deuces  
KL21


	2. And the dance begins

Hey hey all ye fanfictioneers and fanfictionistas. KL21 here with something to tide you guys over while I continue work on War Games.

A while back I wrote a little fic called "All's well that ends in pants."

It was moderately well received, most of the reception asked for a continuation. I had no idea what to do. I hadn't planned on continuing it. but since the demand was so high I felt a need to deliver. So in a nut shell here you guys go. Chapter two for "All's Well."

Please read, enjoy, and review. Thank you.

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And the dance begins.

Carly watched as the two came down stairs. She sat, pleased with herself, as her two best friends sat down without a word. She, idly, wondered if this could backfire in any way. She, quickly, decided that any such repercussions could be justified by the peace that she would be enjoying for the next six months.

She watched as the two awkwardly tried to function without exchanging barbs. There were many awkward shifts and fleeting glances. She was, doubly, ensured about her decision upon seeing this. These six months would force them to find other ways to communicate. She smiled for the first time since her tirade and turned to watch the two fidget, being a little more amused than she probably should have been.

Sam's familiar hunger pains struck. She then realized that she hadn't had anything to eat since before her fight with Freddie. This wasn't good for her because she knew how she was when she was mildly famished. At this point, she very hungry… nigh on starving.

"Freddie, I'm hungry!" Sam bellowed. Hopefully he would just comply.

"So," Freddie said, before his body froze. He didn't mean to say that. It just happened. It was a reflex. But there was nothing that he could say to take it back. The situation was completely in Sam's hands. He might as well kiss his freedom goodbye. He didn't have very much freedom to begin with, and now it's all going to go down the crapper.

"So… maybe you should get up and get me somethin' to eat before I…" Freddie's eyes widened as he watched Carly freeze and peer over at Sam. Sam also froze and caught herself. Her ham wasn't worth it. "I… mean… would you mind getting me something to eat from the kitchen?" The smile that was etched on Sam's face was priceless.

It was, obviously, fake and causing Sam a great deal of discomfort which was only rising with every second she sat and smiled at Freddie. It didn't help matters that she had become a side show. Freddie and Carly sat and stared at her. She calmly got up and made her way towards the kitchen.

Carly then shifted her gaze over to Freddie. Freddie quickly withered underneath her gaze and got up to join Sam in the kitchen. Carly continued to watch the scene with a vested interested. She didn't _want_ to have to follow up on her threats… but she would if she had to. They needed this… they all needed this… the world needed this. That's it… she wasn't being selfish, she was doing this for everyone. She deserved a medal. She decided that she'd look into it some other time.

In the kitchen, Freddie walked up to the island waiting for Sam to turn around. He wasn't in any rush. He had no idea what he was going to say to her. He hadn't planned anything. He was only in the kitchen so he could escape Carly's gaze.

_Well, here goes nothin'_, "Hey, Sam."

"How's it goin' Fred-die."

"Well," Freddie shrugged, "can't say it's all good, but it _has_ been worse I suppose," he nodded and leaned back against the table.

Sam looked over at Carly who, now, seemed to be wrapped up in whatever she was watching on the television. "Freddie, I almost cracked back there," she shook her head looking as distressed as she's ever looked. "I don't think I'll be able to make it an entire six months."

"Sam, come on. It's just six months. Remember what you said earlier? You can do anything for six months," Freddie needed her to be strong, because if she couldn't do it, then his chances were slim to none. "besides, you've done it before."

"Yeah, but that was only a week… and I was freakin' out by day three."

"Yeah, but that was also two years ago, you're better now, stronger… even wiser." Freddie had surprised, even himself with these words.

"Ummm…" and by the look of things, Sam was just as surprised, "Thanks."

Now out of words, or perhaps just because of the fear that this moment would end up like so many others that had degenerated into words of discontent, they just stood in the kitchen wrapped up in the awkwardness that the moment had turned into.

Freddie, decided that it was his turn to speak, "Yeah… no problem," he smirked in an attempt to reassure her… and himself.

To his delight she returned the smirk. Sam turned to back to the refrigerator. Freddie looked to return to his comfortable spot on the couch. They were eager to just resume their day and get these six months over with. Before Freddie could leave the kitchen, however, he heard Carly's voice from the couch.

"Now hug!"

"What!" They both exclaimed; Sam bumping her head on the top shelf of the refrigerator; Freddie turning sharply to see Carly with a weird smirk on her face.

"You heard me. Hug it out, you guys."

"Carly, can't we just take baby steps through this whole thing," Sam whined

"Yeah, I mean that's a big leap. We should probably ease our way into this." Freddie reasoned. Sam nodded in agreement.

"You guys just had a moment. I know it's hard to imagine because it's the two of _you_, but that's what it was, and it's customary to hug after an exchange like you two just had."

Freddie and Sam sighed seeing that their friend's mind was made up. They turned towards each other. They'd hugged before under circumstances that were vaguely similar to this one; but something made this moment seem different.

They stepped towards each other. It was as if they were strangers. They finally closed the distance and wrapped their arms around each other. Freddie turned his back to Carly. Sam tightened her grip and began to pat Freddie on his back. Freddie didn't let go. Instead, he began to rub circles on Sam's back. Sam began to rub Freddie's back, up and down. Carly noticed this, since Freddie's turn put her in perfect view of Freddie's back. Sam's hand made it way down further than a normal friendly hug should allow. Freddie didn't seem to notice, as his body showed no sign of change. Sam's hands had made their way to the small of his back.

"No wedgies!"

Sam growled and moved her hands back up before removing them completely. However, before he let her go he pulled her closer. He whispered in her ear, "Nice try, Puckett." He pulled away to reveal a smirk, and despite herself, she returned it.

They heard Carly clear her throat. The awkwardness returned. Suddenly, that couch didn't look so comfortable, "Well, I guess I'm going to head on home. I've got a lot of homework." He didn't wait for goodbyes.

He simply made his way to the door. He crossed the hall and opened the door and collapsed onto it. He had to gather his thoughts. Luckily his mother wasn't home at the moment. Though, to be honest, he could use a bit of normalcy at this point.

Back across the hall, Sam and Carly just looked at the door with confusion.

Why would Freddie make a scene like that? As far as Sam could tell, Freddie had gotten the upper hand. And as much as she hated to leave it at that, she couldn't retaliate without risking her ham; and that was not a risk that she was willing to take.

Carly's voice rang out, interrupting Sam's reflection, "What do you think that was about?"

Sam shrugged, she had no clue what that was about. "I don't know why he left so suddenly."

"No…"

"No?"

"I mean, why did you guys hug for so long?"

Sam hadn't paid it too much attention, but now that it was mentioned, that hug was pretty thorough. And what was all that rubbing about? For someone that didn't want to hug, he sure was getting pretty touchy-feely. She'd get the answer out of him sooner or later, but for now Carly was awaiting a response of some kind. "I don't know… maybe he was just getting used to hugs?"

"I saw your face." Sam froze, "You seemed to be enjoying it."

"What're you talkin' about Shay?"

"Well, I'm just making an observation."

"Well, I don't know what you were watchin' but… you said it yourself. I was tryin' to give him a wedgie." She had to think fast. Carly wanted answers and she didn't' have any.

"Yeah, but-"

"Ugh, hold on a sec," Sam took her phone out of her pocket looked at the display and put the phone to her ear, "Yeah! But I already- But can't you just-," Sam made her way to the door of the apartment, noticing Carly's confused expression, "But mom why doesn't-," Sam gave an apologetic look and motioned towards the door. Carly nodded, "Fine, fine, no need to blow a fuse." Sam exited the apartment, "Yes, mom I'll be-," Safely outside of the door Sam looked at the blank display on her phone. "Phew, that's the best performance I've ever pulled off." With that, she made her way out of the apartment complex, hoping she wouldn't have to face that moment again.

The younger Shay found herself alone in her apartment. Okay, so maybe her plan had a few kinks that would have to be worked out. She'd get it together. For now she had to find something else to do. _Maybe counting spoons would work._ And with that thought, she made her way to the kitchen.

Freddie had made his way to his room. He had gathered his thoughts as best he could, but was still at a loss. _What in the world happened in there?_ It all seemed to happen so fast. One minute he was contemplating how to get out without any damage, the next he was being treated like a personal servant. The response just slipped out, as much of a knee jerk reaction, as extending his hand to return a hand shake. His mistake almost cost him. To his surprise Sam had kept it together and managed to actually… be nice to him, or at the very least, polite. Then he was in the kitchen being nice to her… even trying to encourage her.

All of these events were explainable. He could rationalize these thoughts and events; find a reaction that could justify his actions. But then there was the hug. It was as if his hand was moving on its own. He felt the need to comfort her, and he had no idea where that feeling came from. Maybe it was something that all guys felt. Maybe every guy has the need to be the hero every now and again. But why'd it have to come with _her_? Carly's always a nervous wreck about _something_. Plus, the high school is filled with teenage drama and angst. Surely he could've found a girl from there, to rescue. Well, maybe it was because he shared something different with Sam. But what was that something? This was the problem with that hug. Every answer just led to more questions. All of these questions seemed to require immediate answers. He didn't have immediate answers that would suffice, He always had more questions. Sam had always told him he thought too much. He'd never wanted to stop more than he did right now.

So he decided that he'd go to bed. There's no sense in worrying about it. The only good that came out of the day was that he had managed to avoid any personal, physical or mental injury. That was definitely a first. Maybe that's why he hugged her for so long. _But if that's the case then- no_! He wasn't going down that road again. He didn't feel any pain but he was definitely fatigued. Physically, Mentally, and emotionally; he was fatigued.

After he let his mind idle, he slowly fell asleep. With one thought going through his mind.

_Not wear pants for six months. Yeah right._

* * *

Well there you guys have it. Sorry that this isn't War Games but it was all I had time to do in between life matters, family matters, relationship matters, and beta matters. I hope you guys can forgive me. I have started the next chapter, and am almost finished with my beta work. My relationship, and family matters have resolved themselves quite nicely so now I've only got on life matters, those won't go away since they come with life, so that's what's happening with me.

And for all of those who are wondering, yes I am starting another chapter fic with two others still in progress.

Thanks for reading my humble fic. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope you guys decide to review, If not, thanks for reading it. It means a lot that you take your time to go through these chapters.

While waiting on my next update for War Games you should check out any and all works by these gifted authors:

aussiemma… axel100… BaalRules… BoxOfTrinkets… boxofpiglets… ... Coyote Laughs… … hartful 13… HiddenInThePictures… ItalianBabexo8… iCabal… iCarlyangst… iLuvNathanKrEsS… JamesTheGreater… KingxLeon21… Myjumpingsocks… ober22… pairababes… Pieequals36… pigwiz… Tech-Man… The Earl of Sandwich… WafflesOfDoom… xXACCEBXx

_From the lightest fluff to the heaviest angst, we right it all._

give these guys a read. I promise you won't be disappointed

That'll do for this go round.  
Until next time  
Deuces  
KL21


	3. Chapter 3

Hey hey! Wat goes on fictioneers and fictionistas?

It's the next installment of All's Well That Ends In Pants. I won't take up too much of your time… with any tomfoolery here. I'll just let you get to reading.

Please read enjoy and review thank you.

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Chapter 3

Freddie awoke the next morning and reached to check his phone to see what time it was. Seeing that it was six in the morning he figured it was time to start the day. He stretched. He abruptly stopped mid stretch. Something was different. He checked his phone once more. Something felt different. He felt his arms, he felt his legs, he patted his chest, his eyes widened. He ran to the bathroom to check in the mirror.

There's no way that this could have happened. It just wasn't natural. He looked at his face, and turned his head to both sides. This was absolutely unreal. He walked to the full length mirror, which hung behind the bathroom door. He yanked his shirt off and surveyed his torso. He turned his body sideways in an attempt to check his back.

His eyes widened once again. "No… way." He whispered in astonishment.

He went through the entire check again. Arm, arm, leg, leg, face, right cheek, left cheek, chest, back.

He was, completely, bruise free. Not even a minor scratch. He stretched again. Nothing was sore. There was no pain. He rushed to back to room. He sat down on his bed and pulled his laptop out of his backpack. He opened it started it looked at the desktop for a while and then shut it back down. A smile made its way to his face. "HAHAAAA!" Freddie exclaimed while jumping off of his bed and raising his hands in some sort of victory dance.

Suddenly Freddie's door burst open, cutting his victory dance short. He turned around and stared at his mother. She looked terrified; as if her worst fears had come to life. "Freddie! What was that noise! Are you hurt!"

Freddie had to stifle a laugh at the novelty of this situation. He finally didn't have to lie. "No mom. I'm alright."

"Are you certain, Freddie? I heard you scream."

He chuckled again. When he wasn't actually hurt his mother's tendency to over-worry was kind of endearing, "Yeah mom, I'm sure." He chuckled once more and figured that he had to give a reason for the noise. Else she'd never leave his room, "I was just excited… to… uhh…" He was never good with lies, "get the day started! Yeah, you know… learning… and all." He punctuated his horrible lie with a smile and silently prayed that his mother would drop the issue.

Thankfully, his prayers seemed to be heard, "Ok, if you're sure you're alright." His mother turned to leave, "Just start getting dressed and I'll have breakfast ready before you leave for school."

"Ok mom."

His mother closed the door and he went to pull out some clothes. He gave his situation some thought.

For as long as he'd known Sam she'd always managed to leave her mark. Be it anything as minute as a scratch or a bruise; or as lingering as sore muscles and achy joints. And if she wasn't leaving his mark on his person, then she would be leaving it on his personal property. If you could name any random act of vandalism, he had suffered it at the hands of none other than the blonde demon herself. Scratches to the screen of his: Cell phone (phones), Laptop (laptops), Watch (watches). Tears to his: Shirts, pants, homework, book bag, laptop carrying case, books, and one awful incident involving his underwear and a Texas wedgie.

He headed to the linen closet and grabbed a couple of towels and went to take a shower.

It amazed him how clear he was thinking right now. He didn't have to analyze any of the previous day's events. He didn't have to figure out what he was supposed to say and not say. He was, at least for the moment, free. Free to just… be. He had no idea that Carly's 'punishment' would work out this well for him.

Freddie finished his shower, toweled off, and got dressed. He sauntered up to the kitchen and ate his mother's awful, healthy, breakfast; which he had to admit, didn't taste as bad as it normally does. He finished his breakfast and ran back to his room to get his backpack. He returned, bid his mother a farewell with a kiss on the cheek, and went across the hall to catch his ride to school.

He entered the apartment without knocking; idly wondering when the last time he knocked was. He set his book bag beside the door and noticed Spencer in the kitchen on a ladder.

"Hey Spence… what's uhh… what's goin' on here?"

"Hey Freddie-o, I'm installing a ceiling fan. I've got to do another butter sculpture and I figured that instead of freezing out the entire apartment I could get this fan and just cool off this area."

"But wouldn't you need more than just one ceiling fan? I mean, one fan can't possibly keep the area cold enough to keep butter from melting."

"Correct sir but this isn't just any ole, run of the mill, ceiling fan."

"It isn't?"

"NO! This is a specially modified ceiling fan. With the flip of this switch on the side of the fan, the fan blades spin at twenty times the speed of a normal fan."

"Twenty times?"

"Yeah"

"And you don't see any possible way that this could go bad?"

"You're right Freddie. So I'll tell ya what. How about you list off your, petty, fears and concerns."

"Ok… well how is your fan mount going to handle the stress of a ceiling fan spinning twenty times faster than it's supposed to?"

Spencer released a condescending chortle, "I laugh at your silly query. I've also developed a special mount for the fan. It will attach to one of the beams and, thus, be more stable."

"Ok… but what about the vortex that you'll create when you actually turn it on?"

"Beg your pardon."

"Yeah, I mean the tiny tornado in your apartment will hardly create a safe work environment. Not to mention your sister and her two friends who happen to frequent this apartment."

"O…k… well I'll-"

"And what about making sure that you don't calibrate the fan to spin the wrong way? You could end up sucking all of the air out of the room."

"Well there's that but-"

"And the wood on those blades can't possibly stand up to the force created by spinning that fast."

"Listen Freddie, I've got it all under control. I've created a containment tube of plexiglass that lowers from the ceiling to encase the fan and the butter sculpture thus keeping the debris out and keeping the gale force winds in. And in the, unlikely, event that I screw up and the direction of the fan is the wrong way: One, it will not affect any area outside of the tube, and two, I've created a remote that allows me to change the direction of the fan without me having to get anywhere near it. And I've got these steel bars that'll reinforce the blades so that they don't break."

"Alright-"

"Yeah alright, now run along I've got work to do."

Freddie raised his hands in surrender and watched Spencer ascend the ladder once again. Suddenly a thought occurred to him, "Wouldn't gale force winds, pressing down and swirling around a mound of moldable butter, distort the sculpture?"

Spencer descended the ladder, "I'm gonna go lie down." He said with a defeated tone.

Carly bounded down the stairs with her bag on her shoulder. "Hey, Freddie," she looked to her brother, "Hey, Spencer… what's wrong?"

"No calls!" Spencer shouted as he stalked past her and into his room.

"What's his deal?" She looked over at Freddie.

Freddie chuckled and gestured towards the fan which sat on the island next to a pile of seemingly random construction materials.

Carly looked questioningly at the pile of junk, "He seemed all gung-ho about it last night."

Freddie shrugged, not really anxious to let Carly know that he was the one that discouraged her brother.

Freddie walked to the couch and sat down.

"Ok. Ready to go?"

Freddie's face contorted in confusion, "Go? What about Sam?"

"She texted me earlier today and told me that she wouldn't be riding with us. Said she had something to do before school." Carly couldn't hide her worried expression.

Freddie was slightly unsettled as well. Sam hadn't missed riding to school with them since Carly had gotten her driver's license. Though, Freddie assumed that it had more to do with getting a breakfast smoothie; at Freddie's expense, than actually needing a stable ride to school. Either way, it was unheard of for Sam to not ride with them. It was almost sort of an unspoken tradition with the three of them.

Freddie shook his head. No point in worrying about it right now, "Well, then we'll just see her there," he said as he placed a hand on Carly's shoulder, "We should get going."

Carly nodded and took her keys out of her bag and they headed to her car. The ride was unbearably uneventful and they decided to forgo their stop at the Groovy Smoothie. Carly parked and they walked to their lockers making a bit of small talk.

They made their way to their lockers. Eventually Sam joined them.

"Hey, Sam. Where were you this morning?" Carly asked.

"I had to replenish my stash of Fatcakes."

"Why not just get Freddie to do it like you normally do?"

Freddie poked his head out of his locker, "Please don't drag me into this. Thank you."

Carly chuckled and shook her head, "Fine, fine… but Sam, why didn't you just tell me that you had to get more Fatcakes instead of making it sound like some sort of government secret?"

Sam shrugged, as the bell rung for first period, "I'll catch you guys at lunch?"

"Sure." Carly answered.

"Yeah." Freddie replied.

Carly left for her class and Freddie found himself alone again. He was still reveling in the fact that, for once, all of his possessions; as well as his body, were still intact. Sure this morning had been a bit boring but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Besides, soon enough she'd be around and things would liven up. They always did when she was around.

He made his way to his first period class.

English was never his favorite subject but he tended to think he did alright. However, today he was fidgety. He couldn't seem to sit still. He did everything from tapping his pencil on his desk to twirling his pencil around his fingers. That didn't stop his fidgeting as he started tapping his foot on: the floor, his book bag, the desk leg, even his other foot. He, unwittingly, started humming. This did not go unnoticed.

"Who's doing that humming!" Freddie had never been good at escaping from trouble. His guilt was plastered across his face. "Fredward Benson, since it's you, I'll let you off with a warning, but please try to refrain from interrupting my class again."

"Sounds to me like you're the one interrupting." Freddie grumbled.

"Did you say something Mr. Benson?"

Freddie's eyes widened. He didn't even realize that he had said it. "No sir." Freddie watched as the teacher grumbled and turned back around to the dry-erase board.

_What was that!_ He wasn't even all that peeved that the teacher told him to be quiet. It was the middle of class, after all. Plus, he didn't have the nicest singing voice. Whatever. He'd just have to keep closer tabs on what he thinks and says. It wouldn't do to get detention.

Freddie had three classes before lunch. Much to his chagrin, they all went very much the same as English class. He spent his Spanish class counting the dots on the ceiling and got into a, louder than desired argument, about what a gerund was. In his Pre Calculus class, he wound up requesting to leave the classroom four different times. When confronted by the janitor on his third trip he rudely told him to 'find some business of his own' while he went into the bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror. In his computer technology class, he spent a majority of the time playing games on the internet. Luckily he wasn't discovered. He wasn't sure if he'd have an answer that would keep him out of detention.

When the bell rang for lunch, there was no one more relieved than Freddie. _Maybe I'm hungry. That's gotta be it. That's why I'm so irritable today. I mean, I didn't eat breakfast today. And it was all Sam's fault. What was she really doing anyway? I'd just replaced her stash two weeks ago so there was no way she was out already. What is she up to. Do I really wanna know? Of course I do. I'll get to the bottom of this because I'm not skipping breakfast again. That almost got me detention three times today. _

He saw the girls waiting for him by his locker. His eyes narrowed when he spotted Sam.

Carly spotted him first, "Hey Freddie ready to-"

"Ok Puckett, what's the deal?"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. I know that you weren't replacing you stash of Fatcakes."

"And just how would you know that you little-" They heard a gasp from Carly and immediately stopped their arguing.

They slowly looked over towards the brunette to see that her eyes were wide with, either, fear or rage. Freddie decided that it was rage. Sam decided that it was a bit of both. They stood there in some sort of deadlock; though none of the three could figure out what, exactly, they were deadlocked on. Someone had to do something.

Sam decided that she would take the initiative, "Well Carls, where are we goin for lunch?"

Carly wearily came out of her stupor, "I was-umm, thinking that we could go to Inside Out Burger."

"Cool," Sam answered, "Mama's hungry."

Freddie reviewed the happenings of the previous moment and his entire day and thought it best that he just stomach the school's lunch, "Umm, I'm gonna stay here for lunch, I've got some work that I've got to do."

"Ok"

"Later. Let's go Carly."

Freddie watched as his two friends walked off towards the parking lot. As he watched his only hope at real food grow smaller in the distance, He pondered the happening of today. He had more energy than he was used to having. Even worse, it seemed to have manifested itself as some sort of aggression. Being unused to this aggression, he had been letting it slip all day. However, the thing that upset him the most, was the fact that Sam seemed to be just fine. She seemed to have suffered no ill effect from this sudden change to their chemistry. Here he was, flipping out over the tiniest things, and she was just as… as… as _Sam_ as ever.

He found that this irritated him more than anything. He threw a couple of books into his locker and slammed it shut. He took a calming breath and step away from his locker.

He suddenly felt his shoulder collide with some unknown force. He turned around to face his attacker. His other shoulder was quickly shoved and he was turned in a circle now facing the backs of his attackers.

He saw the guy turn and look over his shoulder, "Watch it, freak!" His cronies cackled as the continued down the hall.

"Why don't you watch it you-"

"What was that, nerd?"

Freddie's eyes widened. Had he been speaking out loud? This wasn't good. Hopefully the guy would just let it die, take his preliminary victory, and move along.

"Hey, freak! I'm talkin to you!" Hope never was his strong suit. "If ya got somethin' to say about me, maybe you'd like to say it to my face."

Freddie sighed. There was only one way this could go.

XXXXXXXXX

Sam and Carly were returning from lunch.

"So why should I prefer cutting to stabbing? Or should I prefer stabbing to cutting?"

"Well that depends."

"On what."

"Well with cutting your main aim is to keep distance, while with stabbing you have to really get in there and-"

"Carly! Sam!" They were ambushed by some random girl in the hallway. Sam decided to call her Shifty.

"Why so urgent?" Carly asked, a bit taken aback.

"Did you hear about what happened to Freddie?" Shifty asked with rapt excitement.

"Oh, my God! What happened?" exclaimed Carly.

Sam watched, a bit more attentive than earlier, as Shifty began her explanation, "Well I wasn't there, but sources say he got into it with Tommy 'Neptune' Higgins."

Sam never knew how Thomas Higgins had received the nickname Neptune, but figured that it was, altogether, unimportant.

"How did _that_ happen?" Carly asked as Sam chose to remain silent.

"I don't know but no one has seen him since."

"Did you check the nurse's office?" Sam uttered with a chuckle.

"Sam." Carly chided, "Did you check the nurse's office." Carly asked, more sincerely.

"Not there." Shifty uttered with a shrug.

The bell rang and Shifty scurried off to class.

"Sam, what are we gonna do?"

Sam shrugged, "Go to class?"

"Go to class? Are you serious?"

"Well what else are we supposed to do?"

"How about we find and help our friend?"

"Ok, well, where do you suppose we start looking?"

Carly shrugged, looked back and forth for few seconds, and then shrugged again, resigned to her fate of remaining shrouded in confusion for the rest of the day.

"Right, so how about we go to class, regroup, and find him later?"

"You're surprisingly level headed today," her eyes narrowed, "you didn't have anything to do with this, did you?"

"I promise," Sam said, placing her right hand over her heart, "I had absolutely nothing to do with this."

"Ok well I'll see you after school."

With those words they went their separate ways. Sam made her way down the hall when she passed the doors that led to the gym. Curiosity got the best of her and she made a detour.

She walked into the gym and stood in its entrance, next to the bleachers. The gym was alive with, pre-class, chatter. She scrunched up her face contemplatively. Then she shrugged and turned to leave when she heard a noise coming from the bleachers. She turned and looked and saw a figure which seemed to sitting propped up against the back wall. Curiosity, once again, took hold and Sam ventured to see who was sitting there.

Upon seeing who it was she figured she should have known. "What are you doin' here?"

"I _was_ tryin' to catch a nap,"

Sam smirked, "From what I hear you were trying not to catch a savage beating."

"That too." He smirked in kind and stood to his feet to stretch.

"Seriously, dude, why are you here? Carly almost lost it."

"Well I've been having some… challenges. And I may or may not have gotten myself into a bit of trouble."

"Dude you know they retract these bleachers for gym class right?"

"Not without these," He reached into his book bag and took out a set of odd looking keys,

"What are those?"

"These are the keys they use on the key switches. Without these, the basketball goals won't come down and the bleachers won't go in."

"But the goals were down when I came in here."

"I let them down before I hid out back here."

"Very good work, Fredward. That's actually kinda cool."

"Glad to have your approval." Freddie remarked. sarcastically.

"So what made you get into it with Tommy 'Chicken of the Sea' Higgins?"

Freddie chuckled, "I don't really know. I've been kind of edgy and energetic all day." Sam nodded, "How do you do it?"

"What do ya mean?"

"How are you staying so cool through all of this? You seem exactly the same. Meanwhile, I'm on the verge of detentions, double detentions, and fights…" Freddie sighed and shook his head, "You're a lot better at this than I am."

"Well that's only natural, I've done this before… remember?" Freddie nodded, "Plus, I'm better at everything than you are."

"You better watch it before the Carly monster steals your hams."

"Don't joke about that, dude!" She punched him in the shoulder, "That's serious!"

"Ok, ok, calm down," Freddie responded rubbing the sore spot on his arm, "Besides, it's not like she's here."

"Yeah, just think of what would happen if she'd seen that."

If she had seen that…

but she hadn't…

Carly was nowhere to be found. They were safe, and Freddie had begun forming an idea that would help him, and by proxy, Sam as well. But it would take some time to solidify.

"Freddie? Freddie!"

He was jilted from his thoughts, "Sorry, spaced out there for a moment."

"Of course you spaced out. Nerds are always more comfortable in space."

"It's a common expression; I can't believe you'd turn it into a joke."

"Whatever Fred-rag, just be glad that I didn't turn your existence into a joke. You've done a pretty good job of that already."

"Would it kill you to treat me as a human being?"

"Yes Freddork, yes. It would kill me. I'd shrivel up and die if I couldn't insult you and the rest of the dorks of the world." They made their way out from under the bleachers.

"I'll add that to the list along with, silver, garlic, and water."

"And I'll go ahead and add _that_ to the list."

"And what list would that be?" Freddie threw the bleacher keys on one of the seats and the two headed for the doors of the gymnasium.

"That list of stupid things you say. The rest of the list includes every other thing you've ever said!"

And with that, they continued arguing until they were out of the gymnasium. They seemed to be savoring it, knowing that this one would have to last for a while. So they traded barbs, insults, jibes and jabs until Sam had reached her class.

"Dork!"

"Demon!"

And with that Sam made her way to class to sit in what would be the last five minutes.

Freddie did the same and then carried on throughout the day as if nothing had happened. He sat through his classes, a lot less edgy. He took his notes and did his work while being a lot less energetic. And he listened to the teachers, while being a lot less snappy.

The day moved forward without incident, save for walking into class 40 minutes late. He was able to make up a story, easy enough, about being in the library and losing track of time and falling asleep because of an all nighter he'd pulled the night before. Not feeling like paying attention for the last five minutes of class he turned his thoughts to his plan.

He wasn't sure about how his plan would go. He was even less sure about how these six months would go. But he could rest assured in one thing.

He hadn't felt this good all day.

* * *

Thank you guys for reading. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. .

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_From the lightest fluff to the heaviest angst, we right it all._

Well that wraps it up for me,  
Until Next time  
Deuces  
KL21


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